There are some blogs out there that rambles on about the ups and downs of life
and possible random stuffs once in awhile.
And this blog, is one of them.
Just needed a space to put down some thoughts or I would have gone insane.
And of course, click on the characters above (with names) for navigation to get to other sections in this blog.

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Max - Posts
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Ron - Exit a.k.a external links

.::forever or never::.

Maybe I'm too sensitive.
But when you told me you are the type of people who never stuck around long enough for one thing,
I can't help thinking if it applies to us too.
Said that when you're doing one job,
you already feel like doing another.
It's like saying you're with me now,
but you already feel like wanting to be with another.
That's the feeling you're making me feel.
If this is gonna end again,
hopefully it'll be less painful than the last.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
1:02 AM~*

---

.::Time to say goodbye::.

I wished the night last forever,

but it didn't.

and you have to leave.

I didn't think I would feel so empty.

I held your hand,

and you held back.

I couldn't find any words to say.

I don't want to say goodbye.

I don't want to let go.

But I had to.

I can't help thinking that distance would break us apart.

Just like how it used to.

For once in my life,

I'm scared of the future.

A future without you.

Had gathering at Nak Hotel with Siau Man,

Vina, KSY, Heinz?, Kuanz

then moved on to Tonic with my aunt, husband, Jia Yu,

ah Ling, my mum and Cheong zai.

Ivy and Kv also joined later.

Back around 1am and packed till now.

Talked about my problems.

Felt a bit better.

But not enough.

Anyways, time to sleep.

and forget.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
4:17 AM~*

---

.::Feeling::.

I've had a lot of crushes back here.

And I've meet them all.

But you're the only who can make me feel this way,

when you touch me.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
6:25 PM~*

---

.::Ary day out::.

Spent half a day with Ary.

Went for lunch at City View,

shop around at Cherry.

Took a cab to the cinema thinking the movie starts at 1.15pm,

but turns out to be 3pm.

haha..

end up bowling till 2,

relaxing at a nearby cafe till 3,

and watched the movie till 4.30.

Beauty on duty.

Trust me,

the movie is so much better than what the trailer portrayed.

Turns out my sis and mum was outside waiting for us.

Went for 'wo tip' together at mile 4.

damn.

Haven't had it in ages.

Then, it's time to send you home.

When you left,

A part of me felt like it's been ripped away.

I wonder if you felt the same way,

or is it just me.

There's something I want to do for you.

But I don't think it's possible anymore.

This kind of relationship is the most painful.

More than friends,

less than lovers.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
7:49 PM~*

.::Stella Artois::.

相爱没有那么容易
xiang ai mei you na me rong yi

After demonstration of 7 star water,

had supper with chuz, her sis + bf , my sis + bf, and mum.

I wonder when would have the chance to do this again.

But supper was too full,

just barely managed to finish a large stout and 2 small Heineken.

Bought a can of Stella Artois in dedication for Mdl.

In the end, it ended up in the fridge coz really too full.

Cannot drink anymore.

Spend quite awhile in KV's car just singing LMF.

feels like karaoke.

haha

felt good.

Tmr's date...

will be my decision whether to continue or let go.

Hopefully it will turn well.

:)

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
3:15 AM~*

---

.::::.

Xtc asked me what are you to me.

I really don't know.

More than friends,

less than lovers.

What am I to you?

Had 'bak kut teh' at Xtc's house today.

I don't know why,

but I love being in her house.

Maybe because it's the place I run to,

to avoid being at home back then?

The environment gives me a certain kind of warmth.

She also gave me a Body Glove T-shirt~~

Thanks!

Might wear it tomorrow at my mini gathering.

Might also re-learn to drive tomorrow.

We'll see...

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
1:13 AM~*

---

.::::.

I know we don't have much in common.

But love never needed a reason.

I really wanted to go clubbing.

I want to drink until it's tomorrow.

Sing like there's no tomorrow.

These are the moments that I'll feel free.

No stress.

No worries.

When I go back,

won't have this kind of happiness again.

Just work everyday.

Not much of a choice.

I know you had a bad day.

2 failures in one day.

I really wanted to cheer you up today.

But I don't know how.

And it made me feel useless.

It made me feel that I don't know much about you.

Maybe I really don't.

Xtc told me a secret today.

Actually I can sorta guess before she revealed it all.

But for some reason,

I made her say it.

to avoid misunderstanding?

I think I can understand the feeling.

The feeling of keeping something inside,

and you really need to tell someone.

To let someone know.

To relief the burden.

When I was with Ary.

That's how I felt.

I hope I am being supportive enough for Xtc,

despite the lack of words.

I mean, if they are happy,

I can't see any wrong in it.

Maybe because I've known Xtc for over 10 years?

Coz me and Ary never have this kind of unspoken understanding.

sighs.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
2:15 AM~*

---

.::Reality::.

//What can I do to make you mine?

The countdown has started.

6 days left before I leave.

Am I happy or sad to leave?

I can't tell.

Honestly, I don't have anything to look forward to back in Aus.

To me, that is where reality is.

Gotta apply for jobs,

move out

learn to drive

and all those shit in life.

I would like to linger here a little bit longer.

But a different kind of suffering is killing me too.

Reality.

I guess you can't run away from reality.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
1:13 PM~*

.::Human Nature::.

//Maybe it is human nature to want something we cannot have?

Today was both a blessing and a curse.

I got to spend almost the entire day with you.

From breakfast at Cool, to lunch at The Boss,

and dinner at Futsal, and supper? at Jesselton.

Also watched 'When In Rome'.

That was the blessing.

The curse...

I suppose it is because I can't be open about my feelings.

Going out just as friends,

the feeling is a bit painful.

Knowing this would be the last day (until a long long time) I could spend such time with you was even more painful.

I knew this would happen.

I knew that if we get back together,

I would fall for you again.

I tried not to, but it's too late.

If only we can fly away to a place where no one calls us wrong,

ain't that nice.

I guess this separation will be more painful than I expected.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
2:37 AM~*

---

.::dilemma.::.

The more I be with you,
the more I will miss you when I leave.
But the more I don't be with you,
the more I miss you before I leave.
Either way, the pain remains.
I suppose I should spend as much time as possible,
when I have the chance?
I'm at my limits...
Can I still restrain myself?

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
2:08 AM~*

---

.::Beyonce & Gaga's Telephone MTV::.

Seriously, What.
The.
Fuck.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
1:14 AM~*

---

.::Faces::.

Actually, I don't really understand the point of having social gathering at really loud pubs.
I mean, it's fun and all
but...
I think the effects are too powerful.
Just came out from 'Faces'
I had fun, that's true.
But the loud blazing music had caused some numbness in my ears.
As if I went to a high pressured place and something blocked my ears.
mmm...
and I still had another night to go.
And maybe more.
as the gathering goes :/
ah wells.
oh...
and even my voice were affected from all the screaming cause no one can hear me talk. >.>

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
2:18 AM~*

---

bLuHdy Stats

Character Name : bLuHdy-HeLL
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