[[ bLuHdy Life ]]

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

.::I want to cry::.

I really love her.

At times I don't really care whether she would love me back.

Of course it is a plus if she does.

But more than anything, I really wanted her to be happy.

Knowing that she is losing to depression kills me.

It really does.

I really care.

I don't want her to lose to depression :(

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
11:49 PM~*

Friday, June 24, 2011

.::I want to cry.::.

I can almost always sense something is not right before it happens.
Just like you.
I already felt that you're not opening up with me.
The feeling is just not the same as before.
You want to be friends.
I mean, sure.
It's understandable.
I just...
I just don't know if I'll live long enough to see us become lovers.
I love you and I want to do all these stuffs to show you.
To express it.
But now I can't even do it anymore.
Because we're suppose to be just 'friends' first.
It's hard.
Something inside me just died and I want to cry.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
9:42 AM~*

Saturday, June 18, 2011

.::::.

I'm starting to wonder if it is really my fault. ):

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
7:17 AM~*

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

.::Things are not okay.::.

But I don't know how to deal with it.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
9:13 AM~*

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

.::::.

I want to send her a drawing,

but I couldn't get her address.

I can understand why.

I mean, it's an address, probably house address,

how can you just share it to someone you barely knew for a month?

But it hurts.

I can understand why but it still hurts.

That the one you love doesn't trust you completely.

I can understand why she can't trust yet too.

But it still hurts.

like a bitch.

It's crazy.

Sometimes I feel maybe this is happening too fast.

But I cannot help it.

I crave for her like a draught crave for rain.

My insecurities are kicking in.

I want to be with her, yet I don't.

I need her love, yet I'm scared to get hurt if I don't get it.

Some part of me feels this will never be real,

until we see each other.

I don't know.

I just want her to want me.

That 4am moment in the mornings where we talk to each other.

It's always the best moments in my life.

I guess I'm not dealing so well with the time spent without you. ):

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
7:44 PM~*

Monday, June 13, 2011

.::::.

Can't you see that I'm just like you, babe?

The more insecure I become,

the more I'll push away.

I can't stand missing you so much.

I can't stop thinking that distance will destroy us.

I really don't want to push you away.

Don't make me push you away.

I love you so much.

I love you so fucking much it's killing me.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
1:50 AM~*

Saturday, June 11, 2011

.::::.

Love is great and all,

but it's also scary.

Insecurities kicking in.

I longed to reach for a connection.

My heart beats nervously.

I want to hold you in my arms, really.

But I can't.

This feeling,

is killing me.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
2:13 AM~*

Friday, June 3, 2011

.::I love you so much it's killing me.::.

I have to resist really hard from contacting you.

Because if I do,

I'll only fall deeper.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
8:55 AM~*

Thursday, June 2, 2011

.::Confused as fuck::.

“when people are lonely, they always find someone who can be their crush.
it doesn’t mean they actually like him this much.. they like the idea of having someone special in their lives”

fires19

Maybe you're right.

Maybe I don't like you this much.

Maybe I just like the idea of having someone special in my life.

I've honestly never felt this way about someone I have never met,

or even know what they look like.

I like to separate my online identity away from my real life,

but I am failing miserably.

I just felt like I can talk to you about anything.

Things I never talked about to my online friends, or real life friends.

But this distance, is killing me.

I'm trying to believe it's not an obstacle.

That I can see you someday.

I do.

I want.

But reality kicks in and it hurts like hell.

Maybe we can try again,

in the next lifetime.

Because I do believe what I feel, is real.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
12:13 PM~*

.::::.

What can you do when the person you love doesn't love you back?

Nothing.

Nothing except hope.

-Same Damn Thing; Just A Different Day-
4:31 AM~*